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The Help


My job is to wait for a calling.
 Help those who have no one at all and then fall back when I’ve helped enough. Falling back hurts though, but what else am I supposed to do when my mouth is tired of talking.
 I get tired of people and become robotic. Unable to function because there are daggers in my chest and if I move too fast my heart will bleed. I silence myself for protection. It’s called the silent treatment for a reason. it’s the best remedy for a poet with a sharp mouth piece. 

People will show you when they want you to shut up; so don’t speak. Silence Can be filled with inner turmoil or peace. Lately it’s been a war between both entities. Not  being able to speak with the ones you love is appalling. Bodies depart but the essence of love remains.

 I have no control over where the lord places me, and obedience is a charm of mines, so I adapt to my placement perfectly. I was reliable, patient, loving and kind. I sacrificed for my sisters. I watched faulty circumstances crumble free-spirited women. I cared for the children. I bent my back for those who were broken from bending.

 A listening ear and a swaying sword to seize the tongue of whispering demons. I watched their circumstances change as their strength was regained. I caught subtle signs that my service was no  longer needed. The only thing that pisses me off about the departure is the shots thrown at me, aiming  Straight for my love piece. 

I love with no limitations, and put myself in a box, cutting off the life line to my own aspirations.Some people don’t seek  the integrity of independence and  become  complacent in their ignorance. They don’t realize that it was never in my description to mend wounded hearts or repair broken souls; that job is done by God alone. 


My job description was the “help’’ not the healer.

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The Help

For my Nephews and Ellie

  To my Sterling Boys and Brielle   I know a lot of time has gone by since you have seen me, just know In my heart you will always be. It’s so sad to write to you as if y’all aren’t here but adult drama fills the air.  I imagine you all have grown so big and strong, your childhood laugh warms my cold days and our memories together keeps me strong. I know I’m just your aunt but y’all will forever me my Bestfriend’s, the closest thing to my own children and Gods beautiful art.  I wonder what new things you have learned, what adventures you’ve taken? How many books have you read? Have you watched a good movie? How did you do in school virtually and what little pains you hold in your young hearts💜💜💜 I remember you all being so very smart, and I know your mothers are taking very good care of you. Please be patient with them because this time in life is hard for us all.  I shed tears writing this poem but it’s been weighing heavy on my mind. The only thought that I had was why did I have

Belong To Me

 I am comfortable with the fact that no one belongs to me. It makes the challenge for love so much more sweet. The idea that someone is with you because they choose to be, is what makes it honorable even through those moments of misery.  I love, love, but can be complacent in such a fantasied daydream. I fight wars within myself to pull me back down to what I find as a rude awakening .  Some will find it odd that with all I have been through I still have the will to be so optimistic on a world that's shown me, the crooked and exposed me to some of mankind's ugliest ways. There aren't very many people who fearlessly  dream, tirelessly believe, or know how to balance transparency. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Belong to me because you want too. Wear my love like armor every where you go.  Choose me because its frees you, don't break my heart because it will always be yours. Be

Fuck love

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Dreaming into submission thinking damn I really miss him, I hate dudes who are objective to commitment like this blinded intimacy is better when you let me love you because you would never have to question my intentions Why do men do this to women? I mean why Fuck something if you don’t see an ending vision, why is it so easy to take advantage of the one who has feelings. i really be feeling you but then you show your ass, making us have to end it. Ohh lord have mercy on this generation. because they are all burning either their genitals or the way they go about fornication; Hard rock, hard Rock let me in I don’t know why you would make me cry. Feeling like damn I thought this dude was genuine. Sometimes I want to call you just to see if you even think of me. But if you did you would take the first shot… I cannot undo those moments, or the lost time I invested into you my love   but I can turn my heart cold… and when I say cold I mean frozen solid not letting