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Showing posts from 2019

The silence kills me

This week has been crazy, I’ve lost my relationship with my sister. My granny is in the hospitalšŸ˜“  I’ve also been given the opportunity to help homeless students all around Texas but it’s forcing me to go back into the dark days of my childhood and high school years. I don’t talk about the fact that I was homeless from the age of 13-17, because then I’ll have to accept the fact that my mother really didn’t love me. The silence kills me  In a time of healing where quiet work is done, I’m drowning inside the silence. The feeling of being so close to someone but never being able to speak. A whirlwind of emotions swirling around me  I’m caged into the inner expression of my childhood. Past, present, future... will they soon meet?  Rejection: the silent pain of I’m not good enough for them, how could there be a champion in me. Make the world stand still beneath my feet. So I can see where I fell short of loves company  Childhood Trauma  ,” Mama why won’t you sp

Twin Flame, Soul Mate, Love

Have you ever came in contact with your twin flame? Someone who mirrors you in ways that are unexplained. You see yourself through them, understand them And know they can’t be replaced. Have you ever came in contact with your soulmate? Souls that are familiar and conjoined at the hip. Souls that cannot be separated through time nor space. Souls that when they’re  in close contact will  vibrate. That feed off of one another and make each person whole again. Have you ever known love? Love that is far beyond sexual exchange. Love that sneaks up on you Mysteriously.  Shaping and molding you to the person you’re supposed to be. A love that’s unapologetic and comes with arms stretched naturally. A love That’s magnetic pulling and tugging against every fiber in your being. A love That has no logic, it cannot be explained. It can be felt through the Skirts of your conscious, reached through the tunnel of your third eye and Caught by a butterfly in your tummy. The type of l

Gods gifts

Woman you are a saint! You have sewed together souls to bodies that would have never had a chance to survive. You’re gods golden glue as he  binds you with wisdom and passion. You rock it  in a Christianly fashion that only a woman of god would understand. Woman you are fierce. Your sentiment is your pain. Your joy is your power! Woman you are breathtaking. With every word spoken and unspoken. You are full of charismatic character, god took his time shaping you. You breathe love and live life  sanctified by the word. Man you’re are steadfast and sturdy. Built solid as  you are the foundation to a nation. You are everything a black man wishes to be. Successful, loved and carelessly happy. Man you are driven. Working down to the bones building America’s back. No fear or challenge could stop you from being promised. Man you are sealed. Guarding the souls of gods children. Protecting them by all means. Cool ,placid and reserved as a lion takes its time to feast. Y’al

Set Yourself Free

 My past and presence running Intermingled. Demons laughing, dancing and enjoying their time in my realm. I’m losing sleep I’m giving up time. Demons get off me Don’t try to hid psychological  damage with self- deceit. Fool yourself once now the excuse is almost always, “It wasn’t me”. Everything isn’t an argument , fight, or debate. Demons get out of me Awaken what’s pure and blind to the eye before your soul becomes weak. The demons inside of you Control your thoughts. Don’t let them keep you from your peace. Demon get behind me Don’t look at it everyday: the flaw, the awe the captivity.set yourself free!

Home

He felt like home. Like grandpa’s hugs and granny’s kisses. Like a  school bus ride home, and  evening sunsets. Like afternoon Lunch with your Best-friends. He felt like home. Arms with an instant ease of peace, chocolate lips And a grin so sweet. He felt like ice cream on a summers day. He felt like a sunshine ray , and a Shooting stars runaway. He felt like home He felt like  Twilight, New Moon, and Breaking Dawn. He was was as high as the sky  and as bright as Nebula. He felt like why have I never felt this way before? He felt like a shower after a long day at work, like back-rubs And bath bomb soap . He felt like India’s Aries “Brown skin…  I can’t tell where mines is and where yours begins”. He felt like hopes redeeming  and pains end. He felt like home. Of course felt is past tense. But it’s still memorizing to dream of who we used to be. The trauma that can Happen when direct and in-direct meet. Like I’m saying things I don’t mean Because you act a certai

My BLACK IS

My black is beautiful. My black is powerful. My black is intellectual and spiritual.  My black is white, brown, green, yellow, and purple. My black Is universal; a movement to the moon.  My black is a song: a rhythmic blues. My black is strong and unapologetic. My black is love and hate tied bitterly sweet. My black is pleasurably pain. My black is momentum, my black is silently pleasant and loudly intolerable. My black is deep like blue and curvy like spoons. My black is still water and moving tides. My black is closely and remotely Beautiful.

The Beginning to the End

I felt it coming like the calm before the storm It was a beautiful day but a lonesome night Even though he wasn’t there I seen him as clear as I did so many times I remembered him, I yearned for him, I felt myself weakening He wasn’t there with me.   He wasn’t holding me but I told myself STOP Being so emotional your feeling from your flesh..   After that my mind met sleep But then the Angels started whispering… Saying things like” she needs to be broken” “She needs to find her strength. No man that is not bestowed to her should keep her from her sleep” And that’s When I woke troubled by the thoughts I kept. I was losing him he was no longer going to be in my reach. Hidden from truth I needed to be SET A PART.   I withdrew myself from society no longer feeling the need to be a lost sheep, no longer letting the obstruction of the free world weigh heavy on my conscious, it was forcing my soul to weep.. I need to repent I NEED to repent I NEED TO REPENT. For

Im Not Supposed to Think Of You

I wonder if you know how true I could be to you You just don’t know how you freed me I am no longer imprisoned in my head Every day I challenge my mind and try to do away with wasteful thinking but... I’m not supposed think of you Slow, long kisses those are my favorite. When your lips touch mines a million stars start to shine. I can’t help but think do you feel like it’s that amazing?   I catch a glimpse of you, head tilted, hands gripping my thighs, so much passion through those glasses. Those soft lips and gorgeous brown eyes.   I feel your energy clashing with mines. Your sensuality with my sexuality it’s a match that can’t be denied.   When we entwine we send the heavens shaking disrupting the angel’s peace. I wish I could keep you with me   But I’m not supposed to think of you It’s not just the intimacy that I’m attracted too, it’s that big beautiful brain that blows me away. Something about the knowledge you keep that has me wanting more and more of yo