My boundaries that can seem to make others mad are a reflection of what I see as my self worth. It can be hard to hurt the ones you love with brutal honesty but eye opening to know the lack there of is a crutch of codependency.
I keep falling in and out of love with myself. I cling to those for comfort but find myself outside of my comfort zone as I slave to my loved ones every need. The hard decision of should I just let them have it or speak up and destroy everything.
I find that some of the people that I have bonded with fall out of bound with my boundaries. It's a devastating matter at hands. I try my best not to fight the crudest part my personality. When I do I realize it's a battle of being who I am and what others want me to be.
It feels like they want me to swallow my imperfections and at all times have my heart on my sleeve. A friend told me to be careful when people play you to close. Over loaded texts, keeping tab on your time. Seems like someone is trying to suffocate my independence from me.
I find myself in a funk brooding and contemplating how can I say that I want to be alone without causing injury. Certain ideas and principles I see as common sense don't seem too common these days. Like the idea of having space, or showing gratitude when someone lends their hand or goes out of their way.
At the age of 24 I know that I want to be surrounded by my soul group. People who have similar perspective on how to live a purposeful life. A life that isn't revolved around finances or worldly possessions but hearts that crave understanding and thrive off of passion. I hope I find them before I reach my grave.