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Bell’s Denial 🛎


I was standing in stardust with you, my love. I embraced your shortcomings, found comfort in your flaws and laid down my boundaries to hear your heart. 

Me and you both bold, hardheaded lovers cut from the same worn clothe. My headache and my medicine all tied in one. My mysterious man, the one who speaks with force, who loves me but not enough. Who turns me in and out, my soiled roots trying to gage  through the reach of your flaring snout. I desire you.

My prideful gem, who turns me on, with intellectual exchanges, cute smirks, and a hint of blush from my mind piercing remarks. You turn me on, your energy bouncing all around me, levitating me to places  unseen. 

Oh but how you turn me off. Your ego doesn’t leave any space for me. You deny me,  crushing my spirit and leave me completely drained. You put me on trial, and give no option for a reasonable penalty. My redemption could never be fully paid. You left me with no choice but to stay guilty. 

My friend, my love, my twin flame you have denied me. My shortcomings and flaws were too unbearable. My wicked passion was suffocating. My dying urge to be held, to be understood, to be protected where found voided. 

I love you today, tomorrow and for eternity but from afar it will have to be... I told you before those eyes, that laugh, those lips that class will be the death of me. J Bells denial will sing a soulful song that will make my spirit smile but my heart bleed🩸 





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The Help

Soul Dancing Unapolgetically

 I have been too fearful of my own potential, my own strengths and my own voice. I let my broken pieces define me and became content with being a mess.  Is everyone this hard on themselves or am I too rigid to see that my flaws are human, nothing less. That my pain is identifiable that my fears are shackles of the brain, and my potential is undeniable.  Where did I learn to self-hate? Who can I truly Blame for such an ugly pattern of I’m not happy to wake up and see my own face.  I get so stuck in my misery that I block out the whole world until I feel like myself  again.   It takes too much energy to dwell in the past, and even more to pass around smiles that are fake.  I find myself disconnecting from my core, and I see only the masquerade I bore. It gets dark, so dark when you’re an empath who can feel to the depths of ones soul.  I will take on all the negative energy but in hopes that something nurturing can be reborn.  They say don’t let anyone throw that on you and I won’t anymo

Belong To Me

 I am comfortable with the fact that no one belongs to me. It makes the challenge for love so much more sweet. The idea that someone is with you because they choose to be, is what makes it honorable even through those moments of misery.  I love, love, but can be complacent in such a fantasied daydream. I fight wars within myself to pull me back down to what I find as a rude awakening .  Some will find it odd that with all I have been through I still have the will to be so optimistic on a world that's shown me, the crooked and exposed me to some of mankind's ugliest ways. There aren't very many people who fearlessly  dream, tirelessly believe, or know how to balance transparency. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Belong to me because you want too. Wear my love like armor every where you go.  Choose me because its frees you, don't break my heart because it will always be yours. Be

Home

He felt like home. Like grandpa’s hugs and granny’s kisses. Like a  school bus ride home, and  evening sunsets. Like afternoon Lunch with your Best-friends. He felt like home. Arms with an instant ease of peace, chocolate lips And a grin so sweet. He felt like ice cream on a summers day. He felt like a sunshine ray , and a Shooting stars runaway. He felt like home He felt like  Twilight, New Moon, and Breaking Dawn. He was was as high as the sky  and as bright as Nebula. He felt like why have I never felt this way before? He felt like a shower after a long day at work, like back-rubs And bath bomb soap . He felt like India’s Aries “Brown skin…  I can’t tell where mines is and where yours begins”. He felt like hopes redeeming  and pains end. He felt like home. Of course felt is past tense. But it’s still memorizing to dream of who we used to be. The trauma that can Happen when direct and in-direct meet. Like I’m saying things I don’t mean Because you act a certai