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For my Nephews and Ellie

  To my Sterling Boys and Brielle   I know a lot of time has gone by since you have seen me, just know In my heart you will always be. It’s so sad to write to you as if y’all aren’t here but adult drama fills the air.  I imagine you all have grown so big and strong, your childhood laugh warms my cold days and our memories together keeps me strong. I know I’m just your aunt but y’all will forever me my Bestfriend’s, the closest thing to my own children and Gods beautiful art.  I wonder what new things you have learned, what adventures you’ve taken? How many books have you read? Have you watched a good movie? How did you do in school virtually and what little pains you hold in your young heartsπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ I remember you all being so very smart, and I know your mothers are taking very good care of you. Please be patient with them because this time in life is hard for us all.  I shed tears writing this poem but it’s been weighing heavy on my mind. The only thought that I had was why did I have

Out of Bounds

  My boundaries that can seem to make others mad are a reflection of what I see as my self worth. It can be  hard to hurt the ones you love with brutal honesty but eye opening to know the lack there of is a crutch of codependency.  I keep falling in and out of love with myself. I cling to those for comfort but find myself outside of my comfort zone as I slave to my loved ones every need. The hard decision of should I just let them have it or speak up and destroy everything.  I find that some of the people that I have bonded with fall out of bound with my boundaries. It's a devastating matter at hands. I try my best not to fight the crudest part my personality. When I do I realize it's a battle of being who I am and what others want me to be.  It feels like they want me to swallow my imperfections and at all times have my heart on my sleeve. A friend told me to be careful when people play you to close. Over loaded texts, keeping tab on your time. Seems like someone is trying to

God's Playground

 We live in God's Universal playground. We at times miss the concept that we are too the products of the great inventor. That we too can build, construct, create ideas to plans, to models and plant into the word something new.   I'm on this journey to find healing and myself. I have cancelled out any distractions, from family, friends, and temporary lovers'; to  find solitude in the silence knowing god will speak to me.  God created a playground we call the universe to work for us. At times we believe it's going against us too. The jungle Jim isn't everyone's strength and some of us get sick to our stomachs on the sea-saw.  The playground has something for all of us to enjoy.  We are placed into the universe with the will to play at our own expense; to live, learn and to love but also to fail, unlearn, dislike and die. God created everything in a pattern like night to day, cold to heat and up from down.  We evolve but at the same time we stay the same. We each h